For as long as I can remember, a part of my fangirl experience has been sharing that the thing I am loving in pop culture has been a source of happiness during difficult times. No matter what I may have been into at the moment — that tv show or musician or whatever — was a comfort throughout any stressful situation. Ranging from boy troubles to medical worries to bad days at school or work, I’ve always turned to some form of popular culture to have an escape.
I have amazing friends, an incredible family, and an awareness of my own struggles in regards to mental health. So now, as a die-hard BTS fan (aka ARMY), why should I need to turn to a band of 7 strangers when I am feeling anxious or sad? Why do I need the lyrics of a song to remind me to love myself or that tomorrow is a new day? I know my friends and family will tell me the same things, but it’s the music that often really helps.
Magic Shop is a perfect example of this. The lyrics invite fans to find comfort in the band and in the music. Based on the psychological idea of the same name, we are told to exchange our fears for something positive. The artists tell us to show them ourselves, that they want to take away our sadness and pain. They are literally telling their fans that it’s okay to find comfort in their music. It’s not weird, it’s not unwelcome, and millions of others are doing it too.
I recently had the opportunity to speak about this on the podcast, I’ll Be There For You, and to be honest, I was a little nervous about the response I’d receive, especially from people who know me. I’m a (now) 31 year old woman discussing how a boy band helps me through hard times. What would people think? Would they question why I didn’t just go and talk to them rather than turn to the music? And while being a fan of BTS has really helped me not care so much about what others think, we all fear being judged, especially by those we love.
Since recording the podcast and speaking with friends and family, I find myself continuously really asking myself why? These people in my life are wonderful and they know me really well, so why do I turn to this music when I need a break? Why do countless interviews with fans show individuals expressing that BTS and their music have been there for them when they needed it most?
When you choose to talk to someone (which you absolutely always should do when you feel ready!), you are vulnerable. You are having a conversation of back and forth that can lead to some varying levels of anxiety. And that’s okay! It’s good to feel exposed sometimes and open up to others and hear what they have to say, even if it can make you uncomfortable. But when I turn to music, I am choosing to take some time to have that conversation with myself first. I’m not ignoring my problems or disregarding the fact that I have great people who will listen to me, I am making the conscious choice to take time for myself and connect with an external source to find positivity in my challenges.
There is something so powerful in the idea that the lyrics and actions of an artist like BTS can help millions of fans all over the world because they encourage us to think for ourselves and find light within ourselves. To know that there are countless individuals out there who are able to interpret the lyrics and messages in a way that helps them is a truly beautiful thing. It’s also really wonderful to know that these guys that we look up to, and who are so successful, understand and relate to our emotions and stressors.
I think everyone, no matter if they describe themselves as a fan of something or not, finds joy within something in pop culture. Some of us feel it more than others. But it’s all about creating your safe space that works for you. When you aren’t feeling vulnerable and just need to relax, it’s okay to turn to that thing that makes you smile rather than speak about it to another person. It’s not wrong and it’s not weird. It’s about knowing when that is the right thing to do, but also when it’s time to go speak with someone who will listen. It’s about balance.
Finding comfort in something in pop culture means you are aware of your feelings. You know there are things stressing you out or bringing you down, and you are finding ways to cope. You’re taking the time for yourself to acknowledge those feelings without judgment, preparing yourself for whenever you may feel ready to actually talk about it. When I turn to music, it’s because I know it’s there. It’s there for me when I need it, no matter the time, place, or situation, to help me focus on the positive and feel understood. I am so grateful to have loved ones I can talk to when I need to, but I also am so grateful for the times when I just turn off the lights, put on my headphones, listen, and breathe.
“Self care” is so often talked about nowadays, and a huge part of that is popular culture. Turning on that movie that makes you laugh, watching that show that sucks you in, or listening to that song that helps you cry — all of that is self care. Personally, I often choose music. And for the past 20 months or so, I choose BTS. Their music is such an incredible source of positivity in the comfort of my own home, in my daily life, and in the vastness of a stadium. I’m so happy to have found an artist who, even in another language, expresses ideas that make me feel something and force myself to think about my own life. Happiness and self love is such a journey, and they are there to help guide the way, but it’s on me to speak myself and find my own answers.
You’ll find it, the galaxy inside of you.
