My mom used to joke that my brother learned to read by looking at the covers of tabloid magazines in the checkout line at the grocery store. And while that’s a funny image, it paints a picture for how celebrity culture is so ingrained in American culture. While you wait to scan your produce, you see who is breaking up with who, who got plastic surgery, all the various scandals and gossip that you’ll eventually also see on social media nowadays.
I have a weird personal relationship with celebrity culture. I started decorating my bedroom with photos and posters of actors and musicians I liked probably back in like 1997 when I was 9 years old and started loving the Spice Girls. Like most other things in life, that grew and adapted with me to high school lockers, dorm walls, iphone backgrounds, etc, but I have also really had to think a lot about where I want to place myself within this celebrity culture space.
Admittedly, for example, I used to check up on the dating gossip and wonder where celebrities may be staying when visiting my city. I was never the type of person to actually go and stand outside their hotel, but I couldn’t help but be curious. I was a fan. I had been lucky enough to meet some celebrities I admired throughout my life at meet and greets, concerts, even a totally random meeting on a sidewalk in NYC once. Most of those were great experiences, some I’ll never forget. Quick and casual, a signed piece of paper and a “thanks” before I was on my way. But that’s not to say I haven’t also experienced some negative moments. But we’re all human, right? We all have bad days. (Also, don’t be an asshole though).
In my first year out of college, I had professional experiences that completely changed my views on celebrity culture. During my first internship at a major theatre company in Chicago, I had an opportunity to have meetings with a well known actor from an incredibly famous TV show. And he was nothing but nice and humble in that setting. I had this moment of “Oh, here he’s just another person on staff, ready to work. Just another guy.” And then, I got a job working with a group of people who had a very large online following, including one person who was, at that time, becoming very well known through a particular TV show. I was being told “fans may follow us home” and “people will find your social media because you work with us.” Wait…what? I was on the other side of it and it was all just so bizarre.
In the years following, I was active in the One Direction fandom for some time. And I never really questioned the constant media attention on their personal lives. It’s just the way it was. I was following their family members on social media, waiting for a glimpse into the everyday life of celebrities I adored. But now I ask myself, why? I was a fan for the music, why did I need to know if they bought a new car or took a vacation or were seen holding hands with a model I wouldn’t recognize anyways? I wanted them to be happy but I didn’t really need to know every detail. Deep down, it made me uncomfortable. But it was everywhere. Every social media site, every tabloid, to the point where friends and family would send me things that I really just didn’t actually care about, but wondered if I should as a fan. And it was just such a huge part of American celebrity culture that I just accepted it and tried to find ways to create balance. To not get too focused on the personal things and stay focused on the music, but that was easier said than done when it was all just so constant.
Then, I found BTS. Like other ARMY, I learned their names, their music, their personalities, their stories, but I also quickly saw that this was different. No quick links to their families social media, no barrage of headlines about dating and relationships. It was so refreshing. And for the 3.5 years that I’ve been in this fandom, I’ve really been able to focus on what BTS wants us to focus on — their music, their messages, who they are as individuals and as a group. And you know what? I’m really not missing the other stuff. I don’t need to see their families or personal lives if they don’t provide that themselves directly. I don’t need to see paparazzi pictures. They give us so much as it is and I love this boundary line that they were able to set while still having such an engaged fandom.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately as I’ve been participating in a different, not music related, fandom on tiktok. Just trying out a new space. And the constant videos I see about the person’s personal life, or videos that feel kind of invasive in my opinion, just do not interest me. I know that this will always be a part of fan and celebrity culture here in the US, but that doesn’t mean I have to accept it. I’m not going to police others, but I’m not going to like their videos or follow them either.
Because I know, thanks to BTS, that just enjoying the content that is provided to me through the artist themselves, whether that be on personal pages (i.e. BTS_twt) or through their professional work, is so great. And it’s enough. They’re human. We all are. Yes, celebrities know they have a life in the limelight when they find success, but they’re allowed to feel safe. They’re allowed to continue to feel like human beings. Because, trust me, they are. They aren’t perfect, they have bad days, they have relationships, and they’re allowed to create boundaries. Just like we are allowed to not use our real names as our social media handles or never show our faces, if we choose. Because we all have choices. We all can create and follow boundaries, and respect those of others. And that doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your fandom experience. It just means accommodating it so that if your fave ever saw your social media, they’d smile. Or if they ever saw you on the street, they’d feel safe. We all deserve that. Fandom is so fun, so engaging, and keeps us connected in such a special way. And we can make that a space for those we’re fans of to see and feel proud of. Because we all know they’re lurking. Wouldn’t you?
