Outro: 2020
Do Your Thang
The ball dropped as Yoongi filmed a video for Twitter, being pulled into a hug, and 2020 began. Like so many of us, I was looking forward to a new year. I wanted to find more ways to live a healthy life, stay connected with my friends and family, and, maybe, really dive into the dating pool. I had no big plans, but it was a fresh start and I was feeling good about what was to come.
Not much later, a tweet suddenly appeared announcing a whole new BTS album. We were seeing words like “connect” and “kinetic manifesto” and “art film,” and it was then that I became so excited for a new year with BTS. This meant new music, videos, content, concerts… everything. All of the good that comes with loving this band.
I haven’t forgotten about the day that the tour posters started appearing in cities across the country. No announcement yet, the album not even released, but the anticipation was so real. And then the annual ticket madness happened and we had great things to look forward to. Not just physically going to a concert if the opportunity presented itself, but just knowing that a tour was happening, which always includes so much joy and excitement for the band and the fandom.
The release of Map of the Soul: 7 was thrilling. It was a celebration of art in all its forms. We had access to some of the most creative, impactful art being made and shared by people around the world. We experienced different types of dance performance, and we indulged in an album so varied, so meaningful, and so beautifully made. MOTS:7 is a masterpiece. The solos, subunit, and group tracks all stand out in their own ways, highlighting the incredible diversity of this group’s catalogue. And I will never get off my soapbox in saying that “Black Swan” is one of the most musically innovative, lyrically deep, and special pop songs of the modern music era. It’s just a fact.
The comeback included memorable highlights such as “Carpool Karaoke” and a special episode of The Tonight Show, with a second Grammy appearance mixed in. Everything was so exciting. It was the beginning of the end of the MOTS era, but felt like a new chapter for BTS. They were becoming bigger and better than ever. We all got to be a part of that.
Then the news across Asia got worse. All of a sudden, it was bad in Europe, too. And then here, in the States. And eventually… everywhere. The world stopped and the unknown was all we had.
I’m a Fighter
When Chicago went into lockdown in mid-March, I put the lyrics of ON’s chorus, “I’m a Fighter,” on the little lightboard sitting next to my TV. Just weeks after falling in love with that anthem meant for a stadium, I was using it in the solitude of my apartment to remind myself to stay strong. That I could be alone. That I would be okay, even if I didn’t really believe it. I’m a high-risk individual due to a life-long heart condition and a social person with a great network of friends and family that I couldn’t be with. It felt like the walls were closing in around me. But I knew I had to stay strong. ON couldn’t have come at a better time.
As I created a new routine of working from home, exercising in my living room, and eating every meal by myself, I had BTS throughout. Whether it was my individual streaming or viewing, or their means of connection through livestreams, Weverse messages, and tweets, I still had the music and artists in my life that brought some joy to my days. While I missed watching videos on the commute to work, or listening to my upbeat playlist at the gym, I adapted. And so did they. Their world was completely turned upside down with the cancellation of the tour that we all know meant so much to them, and to us, but they pushed forward. They got creative.
The weekend of BangBangCon, getting to watch a marathon of old BTS content with fellow ARMY in our fan community online felt like a dream come true at the time. We all couldn’t believe that we were being given such an awesome opportunity for connection and distraction. It was the first real sense of fun so many of us had experienced in weeks. And it was only the beginning.
When I think back to the late spring and early summer months during COVID-19, I really can’t help but think about the incredible amounts of positivity and pride that BTS brought into our lives. Their Black Lives Matter statement and donation, and the subsequent response from the fandom, was truly one of the most inspiring days I’ve ever had being a fan of anything or anyone. Their participation in the YouTube graduation ceremony was so meaningful, and it was amazing to see them close the show. And then they tested the waters of a real, live virtual concert format with BangBangCon: The Live, and despite the early wake-up it called for, it was a blast. It felt so intimate and personal. A concert just for us, from the safety of our homes, but connected through the music. It brought new, live performances back into our reality and that meant more than I can begin to explain.
I’d be remiss to not mention the release of D-2, Festa and all that comes with it, and the constant ways that BTS remained a positive, engaging aspect of our lives. Never in a million years did I think I’d experience a pandemic, spending some of my days watching 7 guys in Korea make bracelets or dalgona coffee, or reenact childhood stories, but they did that. They did that for us. Instead of using this year to break off from life in the limelight, they kept going. They kept us all going. It all really meant so much. And it didn’t stop there.
Keep Your Eye on the Ball
I never imagined that a surprise audio-only live of members of BTS announcing a new, unplanned single would lead to the phenomenon that is “Dynamite.” It’s a track that is so uplifting, bursting with energy, and exactly what we all needed. I genuinely enjoyed being part of the effort to break records with the song and video, but more than that, it was this constant piece of positivity flowing through my speakers. The guys said they wanted to release this song to spread some good, and they did. They continue to do so. The incredible range of performances they’ve given us with this song alone have kept me so entertained and made for great discussion on all of the things that make BTS great performers (they kill it with full choreo or just sitting in chairs!). And then, the elation we felt as fans to experience the artists we love reach their dreams of a #1 on U.S. charts and a Grammy nomination, despite all of the xenophobia and negativity thrown their way… how do you even describe that?
While the “Dynamite” era isn’t over, it feels like a marker of BTS in 2020. It was the segue into brand new material from the group and another new chapter in their career. I had friends tell me, “Hey, I’m loving that BTS song I keep hearing!” and I actually experienced hearing them on the radio. Sure, I wish that those things happened with their Korean songs, but I was happy to see their name getting out there and that “Dynamite” really was making people happy. 2020 needed something like that and BTS delivered. They continued to keep us moving forward with a reminder to find happiness wherever we could. Even just for 3 minutes and 19 seconds, happiness can be found.
And how do I express how significant ON:E was? While other artists just shut down and said “forget it” when it came to previously planned concerts, BTS once again adapted. They desperately wanted to perform the MOTS:7 songs, so they made it work. Again, I found myself waking up in the middle of the night to dance around my living room as the city slept, and I loved every single second. It meant so much that BTS were once again providing a concert experience, albeit in a new and different way, in a year without live music. It was mind-blowing, meaningful, and so much fun.
Life Goes On
I asked friends on Twitter for words that came to mind when they thought about what BTS meant to them during 2020. Responses were comfort, hope, connection, perseverance, anticipation, happiness, healing. Those words can all be used to describe the most recent album, BE, and it’s single, “Life Goes On.”
This album wasn’t meant to happen, but BTS continued to push forward and turned their thoughts and feelings from this year into music we can all relate to. It’s an album made from their heart, created through a collaborative process, given to us as a means to feel understood. And they’re right, Life Goes On. Just differently, for now. We can have a life within our homes, staying engaged with our social networks and our support systems, and also connected to this band. Since day one, their message has been about “music and artists for healing.” I’m sure they never could have imagined that idea would evolve from music about social issues in Korea to emotions surrounding a global pandemic, but BTS have always worked with what they know and with who they are.
This year has been unimaginably hard for all of us in different ways. We are all living our lives in isolated, insulated circumstances, dealing with fear, anxiety, sickness, loss, unrest, anguish, etc. The list goes on, for some more than others. I’ve been very thankful for my friends and family for being there for me during all of this. And I’ve been so grateful to have BTS and ARMY in my life. This band and fandom have also experienced some really hard days, but I know the good outweighs the bad. Because it’s always been about fighting the noise and the walls and the ties that bind. So even in this tumultuous year, we keep fighting. We have to. What other choice is there?
Not a day goes by where I don’t engage with BTS’s music or content in some way, or talk with fellow fans either on Twitter or in text. It blows my mind that in a year where I am so physically alone in an apartment in Chicago, I’m also so connected to people around the world with whom I share something in common. Something that is really special to all of us and has meant so much to us this year, no matter where or who we are. BTS have given us art and music and performance in a time when the doors to venues remain shut. They have provided things to look forward to and made every day feel less monotonous. BTS understands their position as global artists with a large, devoted fanbase. They know who they are as public figures and they’ve shown that in 2020. With acts of philanthropy, messages of support, and phenomenal artistic content, BTS have inspired me in countless ways, and I can’t thank them enough for that. What’s written here doesn’t even fully cover all that BTS has done and accomplished this year, but it’s a reflection of their tenacity, compassion, and achievements that have allowed for millions of fans to feel positivity at a time when that felt hard to come by.
I hope with all of my heart and soul that 2021 brings happy and healthy days. That kindness and caring won’t feel like such big asks. That we learn from what we’ve experienced. Time feels strange now, tears and worries come and go, and the future continues to feel uncertain, but I know that I am going to go into another year with BTS and that I can find new hope. Things will continue to be different and life will remain stagnant in many ways, but it will go on. And I have music, videos, words, and a community that will help get me through whatever is to come. So thank you, BTS — Namjoon, Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook. For walking with us through the muddy waters of 2020. For being real, genuine, kind, caring human beings that shine a light in the dark. For staying connected, across oceans and timezones. For showing all of us that we’re fighters. I am taking all of that with me into 2021. Borahae.
Follow me on Twitter @LaurenJP68
