I was in an off mood last night. Like many countless nights before, especially during the pandemic, I found myself simultaneously feeling nothing and everything at the same time. So I forced myself to give my thumb a rest and close TikTok, get out of my bed, and find something to bring me out of my funk. And while there is a plethora of content out there to choose from, ranging from my ever growing list of iconic shows I’ve said I would watch (The Sopranos, The Wire, etc), the intriguing documentaries I’ve added to my queue, and the two new library books on my nightstand, I didn’t even hesitate when I found myself pressing play on an episode of Parks & Recreation that I’ve probably seen at least half a dozen times. Because it’s comfortable. It’s safe and reliable and a space where I know I’ll feel some sense of relief.
The phrase “comfort (fill in the blank”) has been thrown around a lot in this modern age of media and fan engagement. “They’re my comfort band.” “He’s my comfort celebrity.” “That’s my comfort book.” It isn’t far fetched to say that a goal of many creators and artists is to bring content to the world that provides some form of peace, understanding, and positivity. And that’s not to say that the comforting thing has to be make you feel like you’re sitting in a garden, surrounded by flowers, with sounds of Enya playing. It can be that loud song or that action movie. It can be that dark mystery book or that over stimulating video game. What matters is how it makes you feel.
It’s easy to find yourself wondering why? What is it exactly about that song, show, book, etc. that makes you feel comfortable? That eases your mind and your body and allows you to just take that break? Sometimes, it’s easy to pinpoint it. Parks and Recreation makes me laugh. Heartstopper brings me hope. Infinity War allows me to escape. I want to sing my heart out to that Incubus song or dance around my apartment to that BTS song, even if I’ve heard them so much I can sing them in my sleep. Because why not? Yes, there is literally countless shows, songs, and movies I haven’t experienced yet that I should check out but if my current state of being is telling me that I need comfort, I’m going to turn to something I know. There’s no surprises, no need to look up trigger warnings or reviews. Just that feeling of knowing that what I’m about to experience is absolutely going to make me happy.
This isn’t to say that there isn’t the occasional voice in the back of my head saying “do you really need to watch this one particular scene over again?” or “why do you keep making playlists of the same songs?” but I’ve learned to ignore it, particularly during the last few years. Because that comfort is so needed. It’s so important to have the space of safety and security where I know I can put my phone down for a bit (stop doom scrolling, Lauren!) ignore everything else, and just bask in the good feelings that I am confident are about to come.
If you’ve ever read anything I’ve written before, you know my focus is usually related to fandom and fan culture. But I’d say this theme is broader than that. This is mental health and positive media consumption. This is finding something accessible and convenient for a feeling that every single human being on this earth needs. Comfort. And yes, we absolutely also get comfort from people and experiences in our lives that aren’t necessarily connected to popular culture. We need human contact and interpersonal connection. But we also need to feel safe in solitude. We need to be okay with those times when we may be alone and need to entertain ourselves. Sometimes that means checking out something brand new where you have no idea what to expect. But other times, that means repetition. And that is completely okay.
So what’s the point in saying all of this? Besides for that it’s a conversation that’s getting me out of almost a year long writers block and creativity funk, it just matters to me. In many ways, I’d say this idea defines a majority of my time spent in quarantine. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve watched specific shows, movies or videos or how many times I’ve listened to the same songs. But what I can tell you is that when I did, it helped. As a kid, we have our security blankets or stuffed animals that ease our pain when we’re feeling low. We needed comfort then and we will continue to need it throughout our lives. Maybe it’s not a blanket anymore (but it can be!), but what matters is that it brings you that freedom from what’s bringing you down. So if you’re having a bad day, maybe even just a bad moment, turn on that show. Open that book. Play the song. Who cares if you did that yesterday too? Maybe even earlier that day! You do you. And may I suggest bringing it to the next level in your go-to, rattiest, comfiest sweatpants and old t-shirt? You seriously won’t regret it.
